Don't worry.

Don't worry friend (if I even have any...) as much as I say "I hate this" or "I hate that"...... I hate myself more.


Last post. Hopefully ever.

People use anything you write against you eventually. Whether socially or professionally, these things come back to bite at some point. No sense in being opinionated because it I shout out loud "Hey, I don't know what happens when I die, but from the evidence I've studied, and from my doubting nature, I find it hard to believe in a singular, almighty God lately. Biblical truths are proven time and time again to be half truths. Don't even get me started on the fallacy that is Creation science. Jesus himself would scoff at such nonsense." But no, you voice your opinion and all the sudden your social circle gets smaller, you lose out on numerous job opportunities (because we all know Christians work harder than agnostics and atheists, right?), people all the sudden think you're going to eat their children or something, or "brainwash" them into your religious skepticism. But, let's be honest here, parents forced just that sort of thing on them the first time you drag them to Sunday school. Only difference is we don't strap a bomb to their chest, we just teach them how to control and manipulate those who make less money, or have mental disorders. I think the singer from Rage Against the Machine phrased it nicely when he said "They don't gotta' burn the books, they just remove 'em."

I'm at the point where I'm just beside myself talking to people who I think are rational, intelligent, and quite "with it" saying things like "God has a purpose for all of us" "God has an ultimate plan for my life. He will make sure I arrive there, when I am supposed to." .....really? I mean.....REALLY? Into your 20's, your 30's?? your 40's and 50's?? Where is this ultimate plan? WHAT is this ultimate plan? There are 7 billion people on this earth, and he's supposed to care whether you go theology school or become an orthopedist? Take a job at Sears, or go backpacking though Europe? I don't think so.... is he supposed to care that my band (who was "Christian", but still managed to do drink, curse, and drink excessively) broke up, and it's been haunting, literally, all the members (who cared) since? How the hell can an almighty God care about things like that when things like AIDS, the discrimination against minorities, plutonomy (look it up), mass spread of various diseases, the infanticide in numerous countries, the raping and molesting of innocent children in certain religions are all prevalent?

And further, how could he call himself just?

Sorry, ladies and gents. This type of thinking is straight-up Western narcissism.

I'm tired of being judged by stay at home moms, and uneducated buffoons for having alernate theories or beliefs. And I'm tired of having such bad anxiety and near panic attacks when I bring up such topics around those such people. I can literally feel myself being ousted from certain groups when I bring stuff like this up. I'm not a terrorist with world domination plans, I'm a pessimist and a realist. I wouldn't harm a flea. Those who know me, know that much at least.

I don't even really know why I'm posting this. I guess since some people HAVE used certain things i've said against me in an attempt to embarrass or humiliate me, I've grown tired of the possible judgment that comes with having a stupid blog. I'm also a piss poor writer, and...no one gives a shit about what anyone else goes through. This is called the computer age, but it might as well be called the age of apathy. One could put a suicide note on their blog, 48 hours in advance of killing themselves and chances are someone would skip it because it took too long to read, and that person naturally, would leave a world of hurt behind for friends, family, etc.

I doubt anyone will even read this, so...if you did, you know where I stand on all this silly nonsense.

Thanks.